Scales & Mirrors (part 10) ©

Scales & Mirrors (Part 10) ©

Today’s Steve’s birthday and I’m going to eat more than usual, because I’m preparing more than usual – or at least I’m going to try with the food I have on hand. This is one of those times when you have to weigh the price you’re willing to pay fat-wise against the enjoyment value of the occasion, because tomorrow and the next day the scale won’t lie for you.

So if you don’t eat all day the day before and the day after it might work for you. People move their food consumption around like they move money around – for the greatest benefit and convenience. Due to tough times we have no extra money so I get creative with the gift too. I already made him a cuff link container out of a cigar box, stained it and lined it with a scrap of burgundy colored velvety upholstery material that I made my valances out of. I recall the woman at the fabric shop telling me I couldn’t make valances out of upholstery material, but that’s the fabric I liked so, ha! Now, what else?

Oh, I know…I’ll iron all his shirts. He’ll like that. The ribbons are already hanging – for a couple of days now. I like to draw a celebration out, even when I’m broke – Steve too. So, I’m going to do an entire birthday meal with what’s on hand – and we haven’t grocery shopped for a while – trying to conserve, since he unexpectedly lost his job and had to scramble to get another one and we lost two paychecks in the meanwhile.

Not to worry. We’ll work something out. That’s the confidence that comes with living a long time. You gain a history of working things out, so when something catastrophic occurs, you know through past experiences that you’ll find your way around it. Circumventing is what I like to call it.

Since I can’t cook, iron and write at the same time, I’ll get back to you tomorrow and let you know how it all turned out. I think I’ll clean the apartment too and have everything sparkling when he walks through the door. Make it look like he’s walking into a hotel suite with a full-service kitchen and his personal animal-free chef.

My plan is to say ‘no’ to second helpings of anything, while keeping the portions small (for me; Steve can do what he wants; it’s his day). I’ll want to savor the occasion however. A party isn’t a party unless one can indulge somewhat. The mild exercise is working to tone my entire body, so I’m looking trimmer than the scale reads. That’s okay.

I’ve never cried over my weight. Don’t you. It’s fixable.


Whew…I’m done with about a half hour till birthday boy gets home. I cooked the meal, vacuumed, picked up, sanitized what needed it, did the dishes, set the table, walked Rose, set the lighting, and set up the scrabble board for a birthday tournament. The hors d’oeuvres are by the board along with a small jug of cheap Chianti wine. We three will be our own music tonight.


Hors d’Oeuvre

Roasted pepper, tomato and sweet onion antipasto with fresh basil vinaigrette, served with fresh-baked rolls


Creamy sweet pea with garlic, freshly ground black pepper and tarragon


Linguini marinara with fresh basil, garlic and extra virgin olive oil


Giant apple and ginger peach preserve turnover smudged with grapefruit, ginger icing with a hint of maple


Lemonade iced tea, Chianti wine, fresh brewed Columbian coffee

Simple but elegant. I tried not to go overboard with fat. Last year after his birthday dinner he ended up in the emergency room. Everybody jokingly blamed it on the meal. While I’m here I might as well introduce him to you with a short story, since I think he’ll probably be making some kind of contribution to this book. I’ll tell you the story, then you’ll know what kind of guy he is.

…to be continued





Eating protein doesn’t make me want to eat more and more of it.

Eating carbs doesn’t make me want to eat more and more of them. Simple, complex, doesn’t matter. They don’t push the addiction button – for me.

For me it’s fat. Fat with anything. Alone too. But I don’t usually eat fat alone. Something about not much nutritional value that keeps me in line – most the time. But pair fat with anything else and I’m all in. Still, I don’t have to go overboard – at least not way overboard. I do have some control. I recognize my fat in the mirror.

The guilt of poor nutrition, not feeling good and being fat.

Good nutrition, feeling good and not being fat, as well as being fit are all status symbols that elevate one’s perception of themselves. And they’re all free. So why not eat right, feel good and not be fat? Fat has all kinds of negative connotations attached to it.

And the connotations are all bad. Sure there’s a person, a human, underneath it all, but if you can’t even find that person, why would you think anybody else should take the time to conduct a search for the real you? That’s your job not  mine.

If everybody sees only the fat when they look at you, then you’re too fat.

Don’t say, ‘look at me’ by getting all that huge-body attention, then scream and cry when no one sees the smaller you that’s hidden. You put your best foot forward by putting all your fat out there, so everybody could see only that.

If you’re suffering don’t blame me when you sit beside me on a bus, and I don’t like your fat rubbing and jiggling all over the side of my body. I don’t want your fat rubbing on me when I ride the bus. It’s an invasion. It’s an assault. I don’t even know you and you’re getting that intimate with me? And you’re mad at me because I should like it, and understand the pain you’re in and be more supportive?  What?

If you’re fat, it’s all on you. Not me. Unless I’m fat, then it’s on me.

The purpose of this small satellite of a site is to develop recipes with no fat, no oil.

I’m not taking the fat out of a recipe, same as I don’t take the animal out of an animal-free recipe. I’m not adding it in the first place. I’m engineering the recipe without it.

Beyond that, I’m not going to talk to you about anything regarding you or why you’re fat. I don’t care why you’re fat. I care why I’m fat – or at least too fat for my own comfort, and it’s my comfort that matters. You take care of your comfort, I take care of mine. That’s how it works.

I want to weigh less. I’ve tried lots of ways. I’m pretty much convinced that the fat is the main culprit.

Years ago companies|manufacturers tried to take out the fat from prepared foods and replace it with a bunch of sugar. When it failed to make people lose weight or become more healthy, they went back to the fat. Of course they were putting a lot of responsibility for your weight and health all on the shoulders of their snack foods, which was unrealistic to begin with.

That’s them. That’s not me. They didn’t try hard enough, or maybe weren’t talented enough, or motivated enough, of maybe the fat|oil businesses got ticked off because sales dropped. Manufacturers use a lot of fat when you consider the huge orders they get for any one product. Their will weakened is how I see it.

Now I get a try. Yeah, the animal-free chef is going to see what she can do without fat. Yeah, that’s me. I already gave it up – today. Easy.

I’m looking at it like an addiction.

If I eat a steak or a cup of pinto beans or fresh fruit or steamed veggies or plain cooked pasta or a piece of dry toast it doesn’t make me want to keep eating it and ordering more. It’s not the potato part of the French fry that I really want, it’s the grease it’s cooked in. It’s the fat on the steak, the fat in the beans (pork and beans?), the whipped cream or brûlée with the fresh fruit, and the melted margarine on the veggies, the cheese on the pasta dishes, fatty dressings on my salads, lots of margarine and nut butters on my toast.

For me. That’s it for me.

If I have fat for breakfast (and every expert tells us peanut butter on whole grain toast with a banana and orange juice is the best breakfast), I’ll be eating some kind of food with fat all day.

So no fat. Fat is an addiction. I’m going to handle it like people handle addictions. It’s easy as long as I don’t take that first drink or smoke that first cigarette.

I won’t eat sugar plain – except every now and then a teaspoon of brown sugar or a tablespoon of maple syrup. I want my sugar with fat on it. I want my fat sweet and savory and everywhere in-between.

Now the giving up part has a few exceptions.

Fat in nut and plant milks not a problem. Fat in tofu and plant meats not a problem. No spraying oil on the skillet though. Find a way to saute without oil. I will. That’s what I’m good at.

Fat in store bought bread not a problem. Fat in veg dairy sour cream, cream cheese and other cheeses a problem. No veg dairy unless I make it myself fat-free. No nuts for now.  A few seeds as a garnish is okay. No avocado for now – maybe a little. A few olives are okay, just because I don’t eat them often, except as a small addition to a recipe.

No more margarine. No extra virgin olive oil, no coconut oil, no flax seed oil or any oil. How many seeds or olives or corn kernels does it take to press enough oil to measure one quarter cup (an amount you might use for a salad dressing or in a cooked dish)? A lot. I don’t think nature meant for us to be eating oil in the large amounts that we eat it.

In-between, since I still develop recipes for,, and I will have to taste as I proceed – but not eat the whole dish just because I don’t want to waste food, especially great tasting food. I’ve already started giving food to people I know around town so I’m good there.

Most chefs don’t eat their own food. That’s because they cook in restaurants and make the same recipe over and over again. They don’t need to eat an entire portion to see if it’s worthy of inclusion on a website, like I do. My situation is different being that I’m continually creating, engineering, testing, experimenting. Tasting|eating is a big part of that process.

So I’m going to lose some weight by dropping the fat. Nothing else needs to be said – except that there won’t be any animals in any of the recipes I engineer. Just like in only no added fat.

Don’t worry I’m not going to make a career out of dropping the fat. It’s not going to take over my life. No calculating, measuring beyond the ingredients in a recipe, predicting, counting, keeping journals, or tearing myself down so I can build myself up in another likeness either. Just drop the fat is what I’m going to do. Easy.

Sounds easy, but I feel I might have a fight on my hands – especially if it really is an addiction.

The fat might not want to go. In that case there will be a fight. Hey, I don’t want the fat, I don’t need the fat, your outta here!

Now we’ve been together a long time, I know. I never needed, wanted or liked you though. And if you don’t want to go on your own, then I’m going to have to push you out the door.

Maybe I shouldn’t go in with a fighting attitude. Maybe the fat will dig its heels in. Hmm.

Maybe coax the fat. Who does that? Not me. Melt the fat sounds too manipulative. I’m not the melting type. I’m going to freakin’ bomb it. Bomb the freakin’ fat. I’ll bomb it off the freakin’ planet. Now I’m ticked. I can’t even think of a name for it.

It’s got its hooks in me already. It knows my plan. Yeah, I can’t name it. You can’t get rid of what you can’t name. Wow. Good one. That fat’s pretty smart. Jeeze. Just what I didn’t need – smart fat! My fat’s got a freakin’ brain. Jeeze. How did THAT happen? I’m gonna char the wits right out of it. I’m gonna burn it to a crisp. Bacon? Who said anything about bacon? I’m no bacon.

Char the fat. Oh my God, I am bacon. Kill the fat. Burn it till it disappears. Char the hell out of it. Chew the fat? No, I’m not going to chew any fat. Chew it and spit it out. Nice trick. Chew it and spit it out!! Nice try. Chew it and swallow it you jerk. I’m not chewing it. I’m charring it. Liquid smoke baby. Charcoal.

I’m sounding like a torturer of my own fat. Jeeze. Ease up. Okay, okay.

I’m animal-free. I’m fat-free. I’m free. I like free. Fat-free animal-free chef. Too long. Fat-free chef. That’s it. That’s me.

It fits. I’m going to prove that I can engineer chef-grade material while being animal-free and fat-free.

BIG ORDER. Better get movin’.

The war on drugs didn’t work. The war on fat won’t either.

Gotta find another, better way. Lots of vegans are fat you know. Not eating animals doesn’t guarantee that you won’t get fat.

For me. This is for me. I must remember that.

You do what you want – what works for you. Or, come along for the ride or to watch the fight or the melt or the charring of the fat.

Whatever way – my bacon is history.


We’ll see.



7/29/2018 SUNDAY Day 24

7/29/2018 SUNDAY Day 24

Weigh-In = only on Friday

Total Calories = 979

Total Fat grams = 19.6

Fat Calorie/Total Calorie Ratio = 18%