If you're too fat, you'll lose weight here; if you're too thin you'll gain weight here. That's the balance Chef Davies-Tight, an animal-freer, seeks and finds along with the sublime in all of it. Chef Davies-Tight experiments with popular weight loss methods to develop her own. WHY can wait!
TOMATO ONION SALAD DRESSING
Just a tiny bit of oil brings the pureed solids to a happy place for the palate! The olive juice, ground fennel and liquid smoke help bring out the richness of the tomato, while the onion and garlic create a surprisingly fresh flavor quality, making one think it’s a fresh tomato dressing! Use over green salads.
Makes 1-3/4 cups
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MARINATED TOMATOES AND FRESH HERBS
Even when cooking with oils, fresh herbs rarely flavor a sauce as much as we think they should. Dried herbs are always needed in addition to the fresh. We usually add the fresh right at the end of cooking time for best result, but even then, the flavor effect is minimal – from the fresh herbs.
Now that we’re not using oils, I’m looking for new ways to flavor sauces – especially tomato sauces. Instead of doing the ‘add at end of cooking time’ thing, I decided to marinate the tomatoes that I would be using in the sauce with the fresh herbs and let them sit in the refrigerator for a day or two or three.
I added .75 oz. each of fresh oregano and fresh basil, washed well, to a quart jar with 2, 28 oz. cans of San Marzano Tomatoes.
When first tasted after marinating, I didn’t taste anything that resembled an herb. When I heated the tomatoes and herbs in a saucepan, that’s when the flavors emerged and stayed prominent throughout the cooking of the sauce.
In the past, when making a soup and before adding the oils I would notice that the flavors after adding the oils became markedly muted. So, I’m wondering if the same would have happened with the tomato sauce had I added oil (which I didn’t). It just seemed that the herbs were especially prominent.
I’m beginning to think that the amount of flavor additives needed in an oiled sauce are greater than a non oiled sauce – or soup. The oil keeps the herbs and/or veggies from exhibiting their natural scents and flavors to their full potential.
If you like fresh herbs, try marinating them with the tomatoes before adding both to your sauce. See if you like it. I know I did. I didn’t need dried herbs with the sauce I made from these marinated tomatoes and fresh herbs. That’s a first – for me.
MARINATED PLANT MEAT
Field Roast Frankfurter ovals marinated in a sweet sour Pineapple Mustard marinade 1-3 days. I made hot sandwiches out of mine: One on a Steak & Sausage sub bun and the second on spinach flatbread – each a little different but each equally tasty and satisfying! Take a look.
Serves 4-6
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FAT-FREE CARAMELIZED PEPPERS AND ONIONS
We go through a process when sautéing without oil. It’s easy to caramelize if you follow the steps required. Expect perfection the first time!
Makes 4 side dishes or 4-6 sandwichesContinue reading “FAT-FREE CARAMELIZED PEPPERS AND ONIONS”
GOLDEN CAESAR SALAD
Now get ready for something different, okay? We’re going beyond the fat, which means there is a world out there that hasn’t been seen yet – not by me anyway – and judging by all I’ve read, not by anybody else either. So get ready to be wowed. Don’t be looking for the old Caesar here. It’s gone. But when it left, look what opened up!
Serves 2 for me (yes, I ate 2 servings – so good, couldn’t help myself!)
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GOLDEN CAESAR SALAD DRESSING
Not too thick, not too thin, dresses greens very well. New flavors, new textures. All different, all good. We’re going beyond the fat and discovering an equally worthy way to enjoy our salads! Caesar would be proud! Low-fat!
Makes 2-1/3 cups
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PINEAPPLE LEMON CURD BASE
This is a simple fruity, acidic base that we’ll be using in some of our fat-free or almost fat-free recipes: sauces, dressings, stir fries, dessert etc.
Makes 2-1/2 cupsContinue reading “PINEAPPLE LEMON CURD BASE”
THE GREEN STOGIE
Impress your guests. Or bring your Green Stogies to a cook-out! Jumbo veggie hot dog wrapped in cooked collard green leaf (hot or cold doesn’t matter) spread with mustard. Looks like a Stogie! Served in a potato bread hot dog bun spread with dill pickle relish and a stream of ketchup. Top all with chopped red onion and another stream of ketchup!
Makes 1
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Broccoli has been widely studied for its many health effects, and research shows that it may reduce risk for many common diseases like arthritis, cancer, and more.
By Dr. Mercola
Vegetables offer a wide range of health benefits, but some seem to have greater potential to ward off disease than others. Broccoli falls into this category, having been widely studied for its many health effects.
Research shows this cruciferous veggie (in the same family as Brussels sprouts, cabbage, cauliflower and more) may reduce your risk for many common diseases, including but not limited to:
Broccoli Contains Many Health Boosting Compounds
When you eat broccoli, you’re getting dozens, maybe even hundreds, of super-nutrients that support optimal, body-wide health. This includes but is not limited to:
• Fiber, which helps nourish your gut microbiome and strengthen your immune function.
• Sulforaphane, a naturally occurring organic sulfur compound shown to have potent anti-cancer activity.
Studies have shown sulforaphane causes apoptosis (programmed cell death) in colon,1 prostate,2 breast3 and tobacco-induced lung cancer4 cells. Three servings of broccoli per week may reduce your risk of prostate cancer by more than 60 percent.5
Sulforaphane encourages production of enzymes that protect your blood vessels, and reduces the number of molecules that cause cell damage — known as reactive oxygen species (ROS) — by as much as 73 percent.6
Interestingly, sulforaphane is both an immune stimulant and an anti-inflammatory.7
Sulforaphane also helps raise testosterone levels, inhibits the retention of body fat, helps detox carcinogens,8 blocks certain enzymes linked to joint destruction9 and helps protect your muscles against exercise-induced damage.10
Please note that frozen broccoli has diminished ability to produce sulforaphane as the enzyme myrosinase,11 which converts glucoraphanin to sulforaphane, is quickly destroyed during the blanching process.12
• Glucoraphanin, a glucosinolate precursor of sulforaphane that also influences the process of carcinogenesis and mutagenesis.13,14 Compared to mature broccoli, broccoli sprouts can contain up to 20 times more glucoraphanin.
• Phenolic compounds, including flavonoids and phenolic acids, which have a potent ability to eliminate damaging free radicals and quell inflammation,15,16,17resulting in a lower risk for diseases such as asthma, type 2 diabetes and heart disease.18
One of the ways phenolic compounds slow the encroachment of disease is by defending against infection, most dramatically by zapping ROS linked to atherosclerosis and neurodegenerative diseases such as Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s.
• Diindolylmethane (DIM). Your body produces DIM when it breaks down cruciferous vegetables. Like many other broccoli compounds, DIM has shown multiple potential benefits, including boosting your immune system and helping to prevent or treat cancer.19,20…
Finish reading: How to Maximize Broccoli’s Cancer-Fighting Potential
15 MINUTE COLLARD GREENS
Not everything we eat is a recipe containing several foods and methods. Sometimes plain, by itself, with nothing else is just as good. Try these collard greens and see if you agree!
Serves 1
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ROASTED CARROT SNACK
A soft chip that satisfies. If serving guests, sprinkle with fresh grind sea salt and black pepper, smoked paprika and maple sugar. If serving yourself, as a mid-day or evening snack, eat plain. They’re delicious either way!
Makes 1 heaping cup – enough for 1-4 guests or for yourself as a snack that could last 3 days, or use as a salad topper
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CUCUMBER ANTIPASTO SALAD
You don’t need olive oil in this antipasto salad. The flavors and textures stand alone. Refreshing and satisfying!
makes a little more than 2 cups
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SAUERKRAUT FOR LUNCH?
That’s what I do some days – only I draw it out – a forkful at a time or two, then back to work, then in awhile some more figuring I’m doing my body good with all those natural probiotics from the fermentation process and I do like sauerkraut.
Raw is new to me, but now that I’ve tried it and liked the result, it’s going to be a staple in my pantry|refrigerator.
If you don’t live in Cleveland, you won’t be eating Cleveland Raw, but I’ll bet there’s a place near you where the pickin’s are pretty good, so give it a try. I think you’ll probably like the result too.
And it’s FAT-FREE!
VEG DOG AND KRAUT BURRITO
Cooked Jumbo veg dog, raw whiskey sauerkraut, chopped tomato, dill relish, chopped red onion and fresh cilantro rolled in a spinach flatbread drizzled with mustard. See? Fat-free CAN taste good!
Makes 1
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PEACHES PLUMS NECTARINES
What to do about corky fruit? Don’t dump it, stew it! Peaches, plums, nectarines stewed with coriander, ginger, brown sugar and sea salt!
Makes 3-1/2 cups
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HOT DOG SALAD SANDWICH SPREAD
Chopped animal-free hot dogs, Silken tofu, green pepper and onion mixed with sweet mustard, spice and smoke to create what tastes like ham salad. A variation on an old favorite! Essentially fat-free except for the little bit of fat in the tofu!
Makes 3-1/2 cups
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How scientists use smell to trick tastebuds—and brains
But what if, instead of trying to make low fat or low sodium foods taste better, scientists could trick the brain into tasting them differently? That’s what French chemists are attempting to do with an imaginative device that identifies and isolates the natural aromatic molecules associated with your favorite tastes.
When added to low fat or salt foods, those scents can deceive your tastebuds into thinking that cardboard-tasting potato chip is the real deal…
Finish reading: Food Tasting Too Healthy? Just Add Scent
Chef comment: The potential risk|problem I see is if we can trick the brain into thinking we’re eating the ‘real’ stuff – fat, sugar and salt – in amounts that make them pleasing to our palate, then just maybe our brains will be tricked into thinking the ‘healthy’ foods are as bad for us as unhealthy foods, and respond accordingly by raising our blood pressure, blood sugar, triglycerides and making us obese.
It’s sorta like diet sodas, that even though they are calorie-free, the brain doesn’t think they are, because they taste sweet. Tricking mother nature may work sorta like a placebo, but it won’t in my opinion work long term.
Over time we will become accustomed to the taste and texture of less salt, sugar and fat, without tricking the brain into anything. Again, we’re modifying foods or adding modified molecules to food that probably will end up in the future being bad for us.
The other night I had Lays kettle potato chips and when I opened the bag the the fried potato scent was overpowering to the point of repulsion. Maybe companies are already using this technology. If we’re reading about it now, somebody probably is. Those chips although they didn’t contain animal fat tasted like they had too big a dose of it – scent wise, fried-wise. I was put off. I finished the chips, too much salt and all, but I’ll instruct my husband not to buy those any more. Overkill.
LIQUID SPICE FOR SAUTEING
If we’re not going to oil the skillet and we still want some char on our sautéed veggies, then we’re going to have to improvise. This is one way to do it. See easy instructions below.
Makes a little over 1 cup
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The average American adult consumes about 300 mg of caffeine per day. That’s equivalent to the caffeine content of nearly three cups of coffee.
With so much caffeine being consumed by so many people, it’s worth taking a look at potential downsides. We recently added some side effect data to our caffeine page, and here’s a quick summary of what we found…THE DARK SIDE OF DARK ROAST
SCIENTIFIC REVIEW:
Caffeine is a stimulatory anti-sleep compound extracted from coffee beans. Habitual caffeine use leads to tolerance, which dulls several of caffeine’s effects.
Caffeine comes from coffee beans, but it can also be synthesized in a laboratory. It has the same structure whether it’s in Coffee, Energy Drinks, Tea or pills.
Caffeine is a powerful stimulant, and it can be used to improve physical strength and endurance. It is classified as a Nootropic because it sensitizes neurons and provides mental stimulation.
Habitual caffeine use is also associated with a reduced risk of Alzheimer’s, cirrhosis, and liver cancer.
Caffeine’s main mechanism concerns antagonizing adenosine receptors. Adenosine causes sedation and relaxation when it acts upon its receptors, located in the brain. Caffeine prevents this action and causes alertness and wakefulness. This inhibition of adenosine can influence the dopamine, serotonin, acetylcholine, and adrenaline systems.
Habitual caffeine use leads to tolerance. This means the effects of caffeine will be diminished, often to the point where the only benefit a user experiences is caffeine’s anti-sleep effect. This is an ‘insurmountable’ tolerance, which means more caffeine will not overcome it. A month-long break from caffeine will reduce tolerance…
Finish reading: Caffeine – Scientific Review on Usage, Dosage, Side Effects | Examine.com
AFC EARTH BURGER©
The everything burger! Grains: barley and rolled oats. Veggies: mushrooms and carrots. Beans: dark red kidney beans and blackeye peas! Contains no fat, no soy, no animal products, no protein isolates! The carrots give it an earthy taste!
Makes 8 cups burger dough
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WATCH YOUR WEIGHT | BE A WORK IN PROGRESS
Too often we set unrealistic short-term goals that should be in the long-term category. We’re always going to start tomorrow or next week and those weeks turn into years, because the job of reaching the goal is overwhelming.
Your weight doesn’t begin and end with a weight goal. Look at yourself like you look at everything else. This needs improvement, something else does, then set about changing what you don’t like by tweaking, instead of overhauling.
Eat a little less to begin.
Start thinking about what your body needs rather than what you think it wants.
Stop thinking that you can never lose that excess weight. You can and will, understanding that you’re the one who controls what you put into your gut.
If you raise children, you don’t start out being the perfect parent. It’s a work in progress as you make adjustments in your approach from day to day.
When you go to work, same thing. You adjust to new information, new duties, changes in the job description, new bosses etc.
Do the same with how you approach what’s best for your body. Allow yourself to be that work in progress.
Remember, goals without a plan won’t work. Saying that you’ll do something tomorrow or next week won’t work. Declining the candy bar or super-sized soda pop or second or third helpings of food works in the moment. That’s when you’re plan goes into effect–when you’re faced with a decision to do, or not to do.
Feeding your body the same huge volume even when it’s all good food is not the solution.
Over-stuffing your gut is dangerous no matter what you over-stuff it with. Remember, the gut pushes up against the heart. Push too hard and it restricts the heart’s ability to beat unencumbered. Think of it as blowing up a balloon beyond capacity.
People often end up in the emergency room thinking they’re having a heart attack after they’ve eaten a large meal. The doctor says it’s indigestion, which translates to the lay person as ‘what’ they ate, not that they ate too much. ‘Get rid of the gas’ is the usual prescribed remedy, when actually ‘put your fork down’ should be the primary prescription. Eat less food and you’ll create less gas.
Give your heart a fighting chance. Keep smothering it and eventually when you climb that flight of stairs, when your heart needs to pump harder, your bloated gut will block your heart’s effort to get up those stairs. The heart will circumvent by beating a lot of short beats quickly in order to compensate, then because it’s beating so fast will flip into arrhythmias. Next thing you know you’re in the hospital.
Sure it takes discipline. But you get up everyday don’t you? You shower and dress and go to work and come home and watch T.V. or go back to work a second job. That all takes discipline. So it isn’t that you’re lacking in the discipline department. Eating a mammoth amount of food takes discipline too.
Stop asking other people why you do it. It tastes good, it feels good. No it doesn’t. You feel like hell. Then why do I do it? Ask yourself that question. Nobody knows you like you know yourself. Why do you go to work everyday? Because I have to. Why do you get up everyday? Because I have to. Why do you eat so much? Because I have to. No you don’t. That’s one thing you don’t have to do. Yeah, but I do it anyway. Try doing something you don’t have to do. You just might like that feeling of freedom. Just because you feel enslaved by everything else in your life, doesn’t mean you have to enslave yourself in areas that you have total power over.
Try power on for size. I’ll bet it fits like a glove!
Chef Davies-Tight
The government is instructing doctors across the board to prescribe fewer antibiotics. They claim that overuse of antibiotics is resulting in bacterial infections that are resistant to these drugs.
People now are being denied antibiotic treatment and antiviral treatment when they need it, because the government is afraid to tell the slaughter industries to stop feeding animals slated for slaughter massive doses of antibiotics, that are responsible for your increased sensitivity to them.
I don’t eat animals. I’ve never taken an antibiotic that didn’t work, so why should I be punished because everybody else eats animals, which sensitizes them to these drugs? And why should doctors throw in the antivirals too?
It’s insane the way policy makers decide who gets antibiotic and/or antiviral treatment and who doesn’t. What these policy makers fail to realize is that each person is independent of everyone else. Restricting my use of antibiotics or antivirals is not going to make everybody or anybody else less sensitized to the drugs.
The elephant in the room is not the once or twice a year we may need treatment, but the daily consumption of antibiotics served up at every meal via the flesh and the blood of the dead animal, that was force fed these drugs in massive doses to keep them infection-free.
Wake up to the realities of the situation and stop discriminating against people who don’t eat animals, based on the majority of people who do.
If a doctor is considering not prescribing an antibiotic based on governmental concerns and guidelines, then the first question asked the patient should be: Do you eat animals?
Everything bad gets stored in my fat. Ever wonder why when you begin to lose weight you feel like crap? That’s because all the stored toxins in your fat go into your blood stream when your fat is burned for fuel.
So, why would I want to carry around with me – every minute of every day and night – a bucket load of toxins? I wouldn’t. It’s like I have a stock pile of my own biological weapons right in my own body, stored in my own fat.
How do you get rid of a toxin? The same way the USA neutralizes its biological weapons. It burns them.
Baby fat, adolescent fat, adult fat, senior fat, what difference does it make? It’s all fat. And it’s all toxic. That’s why they tell you to drink lots of water when you’re dieting, thus burning your fat along with its toxins or even when you get a massage – to flush out those toxins they always say. Hey, I believe it.
Why would you want to give your baby or anyone else their own toxin depository by allowing them to get fat? You can keep your toxins forever – at your immediate disposal – in your fat. The more fat, the more toxins.
Skip a meal and your body uses its own fat for energy and maintenance. Every toxin in your fat depository is at your disposal to be activated at a moments notice. Skip a meal and watch it work its destructive, disruptive magic on all your organs.
Do you want to forever recycle those toxins that are making you sick or do you want to get rid of them once and for all?
I’ll take the once and for all.
Burn that fat and don’t bring it back.
Eating protein doesn’t make me want to eat more and more of it.
Eating carbs doesn’t make me want to eat more and more of them. Simple, complex, doesn’t matter. They don’t push the addiction button – for me.
For me it’s fat. Fat with anything. Alone too. But I don’t usually eat fat alone. Something about not much nutritional value that keeps me in line – most the time. But pair fat with anything else and I’m all in. Still, I don’t have to go overboard – at least not way overboard. I do have some control. I recognize my fat in the mirror.
The guilt of poor nutrition, not feeling good and being fat.
Good nutrition, feeling good and not being fat, as well as being fit are all status symbols that elevate one’s perception of themselves. And they’re all free. So why not eat right, feel good and not be fat? Fat has all kinds of negative connotations attached to it.
And the connotations are all bad. Sure there’s a person, a human, underneath it all, but if you can’t even find that person, why would you think anybody else should take the time to conduct a search for the real you? That’s your job not mine.
If everybody sees only the fat when they look at you, then you’re too fat.
Don’t say, ‘look at me’ by getting all that huge-body attention, then scream and cry when no one sees the smaller you that’s hidden. You put your best foot forward by putting all your fat out there, so everybody could see only that.
If you’re suffering don’t blame me when you sit beside me on a bus, and I don’t like your fat rubbing and jiggling all over the side of my body. I don’t want your fat rubbing on me when I ride the bus. It’s an invasion. It’s an assault. I don’t even know you and you’re getting that intimate with me? And you’re mad at me because I should like it, and understand the pain you’re in and be more supportive? What?
If you’re fat, it’s all on you. Not me. Unless I’m fat, then it’s on me.
The purpose of this small satellite of a site is to develop recipes with no fat, no oil.
I’m not taking the fat out of a recipe, same as I don’t take the animal out of an animal-free recipe. I’m not adding it in the first place. I’m engineering the recipe without it.
Beyond that, I’m not going to talk to you about anything regarding you or why you’re fat. I don’t care why you’re fat. I care why I’m fat – or at least too fat for my own comfort, and it’s my comfort that matters. You take care of your comfort, I take care of mine. That’s how it works.
I want to weigh less. I’ve tried lots of ways. I’m pretty much convinced that the fat is the main culprit.
Years ago companies|manufacturers tried to take out the fat from prepared foods and replace it with a bunch of sugar. When it failed to make people lose weight or become more healthy, they went back to the fat. Of course they were putting a lot of responsibility for your weight and health all on the shoulders of their snack foods, which was unrealistic to begin with.
That’s them. That’s not me. They didn’t try hard enough, or maybe weren’t talented enough, or motivated enough, of maybe the fat|oil businesses got ticked off because sales dropped. Manufacturers use a lot of fat when you consider the huge orders they get for any one product. Their will weakened is how I see it.
Now I get a try. Yeah, the animal-free chef is going to see what she can do without fat. Yeah, that’s me. I already gave it up – today. Easy.
I’m looking at it like an addiction.
If I eat a steak or a cup of pinto beans or fresh fruit or steamed veggies or plain cooked pasta or a piece of dry toast it doesn’t make me want to keep eating it and ordering more. It’s not the potato part of the French fry that I really want, it’s the grease it’s cooked in. It’s the fat on the steak, the fat in the beans (pork and beans?), the whipped cream or brûlée with the fresh fruit, and the melted margarine on the veggies, the cheese on the pasta dishes, fatty dressings on my salads, lots of margarine and nut butters on my toast.
For me. That’s it for me.
If I have fat for breakfast (and every expert tells us peanut butter on whole grain toast with a banana and orange juice is the best breakfast), I’ll be eating some kind of food with fat all day.
So no fat. Fat is an addiction. I’m going to handle it like people handle addictions. It’s easy as long as I don’t take that first drink or smoke that first cigarette.
So what about sugar? I don’t eat sugar plain – except every now and then a teaspoon of brown sugar or a tablespoon of maple syrup. I want my sugar with fat on it. I want my fat sweet and savory and everywhere in-between.
Now the giving up part has a few exceptions.
Fat in nut and plant milks not a problem. Fat in tofu and plant meats not a problem. No spraying oil on the skillet though. Find a way to saute without oil. I will. That’s what I’m good at. I never did spray oil on a skillet. Well, I bought a can about forty years ago, when it was in style, but once I got it home thought twice about breathing in the air that had oil in it from me spraying it on the skillet. It never goes to just the skillet. A spray is a spray. So not for me – nothing do to with the oil content. I suppose I could allow myself 1 t. oil per skillet for any saute. Pour it on cold skillet, then rub with fingers over skillet. I’ll think about it. Lots of stuff will be fluid with this fat-free thing I’m doing.
I might be changing my mind a lot about the rules. But I need a prototype or a plan|program, something to get me started.
Fat contained in store bought bread not a problem. Fat in veg dairy sour cream, cream cheese and other cheeses a problem. No veg dairy unless I make it myself fat-free. No nuts for now. A few seeds as a garnish are okay. No avocado for now – maybe a little. A few olives are okay, just because I don’t eat them often, except as a small addition to a recipe.
No more margarine. No extra virgin olive oil, no coconut oil, no flax seed oil or any oil. How many seeds or olives or corn kernels does it take to extract enough oil to measure one quarter cup (an amount you might use for a salad dressing or in a cooked dish)? A lot. I don’t think nature meant for us to be eating oil in the large amounts that we eat it.
Since I still develop recipes for chefdavies-tight.com, theanimalfreechef.com, and animal-freesous-chef.com, I will have to taste as I proceed – but not eat the whole dish just because I don’t want to waste food, especially great tasting food. I’ve already started giving food to people I know around town so I’m good there.
Most chefs don’t eat their own food. That’s because they cook in restaurants and make the same recipe over and over again. They don’t need to eat an entire portion to see if it’s worthy of inclusion on a website, like I do. My situation is different being that I’m continually creating, engineering, testing and experimenting. Tasting|eating is a big part of that process.
So I’m going to lose some weight by dropping the fat. Nothing else needs to be said – except that there won’t be any animals in the recipes I engineer. Just like in chefdavies-tight.com only no added fat. Maybe I should say “almost fat-free”, “practically fat-free”.
Don’t worry I’m not going to make a career out of dropping the fat. It’s not going to take over my life. No calculating, measuring beyond the ingredients in a recipe, predicting, counting, keeping journals, or tearing myself down so I can build myself up in another likeness either. Just drop the fat is what I’m going to do. Easy.
Sounds easy, but I feel I might have a fight on my hands – especially if it really is an addiction.
The fat might not want to go. In that case there will be a fight. Hey, I don’t want the fat, I don’t need the fat, you’re outta here!
Now we’ve been together a long time, I know. I never needed, wanted or liked you though. And if you don’t want to go on your own, then I’m going to have to push you out the door.
Maybe I shouldn’t go in with a fighting attitude. Maybe the fat will dig its heels in. Hmm.
Maybe coax the fat. Who does that? Not me. Melt the fat sounds too manipulative. I’m not the melting type. I’m going to freakin’ bomb it. Bomb the freakin’ fat. I’ll bomb it off the freakin’ planet. Now I’m ticked. I can’t even think of a name for it.
It’s got its hooks in me already. It knows my plan. Yeah, I can’t name it. You can’t get rid of what you can’t name. Wow. Good one. That fat’s pretty smart.
Jeeze. Just what I didn’t need – smart fat! My fat’s got a freakin’ brain. How did THAT happen? I’m gonna char the wits right out of it. I’m gonna burn it to a crisp. Bacon? Who said anything about bacon? I’m no bacon.
Char the fat. Oh my God, I am bacon. Kill the fat. Burn it till it disappears. Char the hell out of it. Chew the fat? No, I’m not going to chew any fat. Chew it and spit it out. Nice trick. Chew it and spit it out!! Nice try. Chew it and swallow it you jerk. I’m not chewing it. I’m charring it. Liquid smoke baby. Charcoal.
I’m sounding like a torturer of my own fat. Jeeze. Ease up. Okay, okay.
I’m animal-free. I’m fat-free. I’m free. I like free. Fat-free animal-free chef. Too long. Fat-free chef. That’s it. That’s me.
It fits. I’m going to prove that I can engineer chef-grade material while being animal-free and fat-free.
BIG ORDER. Better get movin’.
The war on drugs didn’t work. The war on fat won’t either.
Gotta find another, better way. Lots of vegans are fat you know. Not eating animals doesn’t guarantee that you won’t get fat.
For me. This is for me. I must remember that.
You do what you want – what works for you. Or, come along for the ride or to watch the fight or the melt or the charring of the fat.
Whichever way – my bacon is history.
WISHING ON A WEED ARE WE?
We’ll see.
FAT-FREE CHEF™