My Body Is A Machine That Bleeds.
So, I ought to be careful given that vulnerability.
Had this thought while back on the treadmill after some time. Today.
RESIST THE SPEED.
I’m trying to fix the mat that keeps shifting on the treadmill, so I think to slow it down, try it out for a couple minutes, then make minor adjustments as needed till I get it right, instead of trying to do it in one step.
Someone once said I did something or other fast. Someone else piped in, she does everything fast.
I laughed. Probably I do, but it doesn’t appear that way to me.
I’m rethinking my metabolism. Remember, this is only about me, because I don’t know about yours. Okay?
If I’m always on fast, then fast becomes normal or the body adjusts metabolic rate to try to convince me to slow it down, which makes me work more for less weight loss benefit.
In fact, I don’t lose any weight, because fast signals impending or immediate threat, thus body goes into conservation mode.
I am always on high alert. It’s not new. I was born that way. But I didn’t necessarily look that way unless I was engaging in behavior that stressed people engage in.
A person once said of me in my early twenties that he couldn’t put a name on me (must have been British, always wanting to categorize people), so he settled on “blase chick”.
Indifferent is how I appeared. I didn’t have enough worldly experience to be jaded by it all.
Well I wasn’t always fat, so something back then was working in my favor.
I put some stage & screen music on and started walking on the treadmill.
I didn’t like slow. I sped up. Then I decided to not look at the numbers and timer on the screen, hoping the time would go by faster, so reached to the table for something to cover it and nearly fell off the thing. That jolted me enough to slow it down.
Whoa. My reflexes are good.
Then I decided to stay slow – super slow. Listen to my body. If I slow my body down, my brain will think something’s wrong and try to speed me up. Resist. I did.
I stayed resisted for 10 minutes. Turned the speed up just a tad for a couple minutes then stopped.
I didn’t feel worked-out like I usually do, but strangely I felt a physical accomplishment. I controlled my own body. Then I thought, my body is a machine that bleeds.
I can fix it. I’m in control.
That’s how it all happened.