THE CONSTANT REMINDER

My age is a constant reminder of my mortality.

Old age is like an incurable disease with an expiration date.

When we’re young it’s the crossing of the street or getting into a car that could end it all prematurely. It helps to lift the doom knowing the odds that it probably won’t happen and that all activities present some risk.

When we’re old it becomes the slip and fall that could end it all. None of it is within our absolute control, but we do take measures to keep ourselves safe throughout our existence no matter the age.

All precautionary measures taken being equal, old age remains a constant looming death sentence if you’re old.

There is no best way to deal with it and it certainly isn’t something one can overcome. It’s not something you can be taught or learn from somebody else. It really is a solitary journey.

But given that you’ve survived this long by handling everything else that came your way – and there was a lot of stuff that you weren’t prepared for but handled anyway – you’ll do the same when your time has come for your death to be made final.

At times I look upon it as I would the preparation of a holiday event. Other times I just want everything organized and loose ends tied so my husband won’t be left with a mess. Still other times I think who cares anyway. He’ll cope as always. We both have a long histories of handling adversity, and this is something we all eventually face.

Age is a state of mind I often hear. And sure, at times it is – a delightful, exhilarating, intellectually profound, in fact, state of mind. Most of the time it’s not much different from your younger self, excepting the wrinkled skin and mobility issues.You become more cognizant of everything you do – every detail – and although the tasks are more physically difficult, your drive to complete whatever you do well far exceeds the drive required of your younger self, which makes you feel stronger emotionally as a result, even if weaker physically.

You are your younger self after all.

The difference is that in addition to that younger self that you carry with you always, you operate through an older version of you now.

Both of you will simultaneously reach deaths door when it opens.

Until then keep the party lights on.






 

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